So.  I was talking to Radar this morning (which is basically a weekday ritual since the asshat doesn't play freaking EQ2 anymore and I hardly get to hang out with him anymore, this is how we keep in touch).  We were going through our usual random list of topics and touched on the typical rhetorical questions that I ask him on a fairly regular basis.  "Did you even f***ing READ it?" "What the hell were you THINKING?" "Why are you being such a... MAN???"

The usual.  This led to a fit of giggles (and lemme tell ya ladies, his giggle is all kinds of cute and girlish, you just don't hear it in the podcast all that much cause he edits out all the parts that make him sound less than manly).  Out of this the concept of The Man FAQ was born.  Naturally, since I'm totally fair, there will follow The Woman FAQ.

So, without further ado (yes, it's further ADO not adieu cause that's goodbye in frelling french you uneducated twits, nor is it adue so for the love of god if you're gonna use a goddamned term use it right or don't do it at all cause you just make yourself look stupid... er) I bring you...

The Man FAQ 

Q:  Are you listening to me? 

A:  Actually no I'm not.  I tuned out somewhere after the tenth straight minute of your babbling cause you're talking about something completely not interesting to me and I'm really just hoping you get to the point soon so I can go back to my video game/comic book/tv show/mowing the lawn/or any of the other thousand things I'd rather be doing than listen to you blather.  But since I can't tell you the truth without this turning into a four hour tirade about your feelings and crap, I'm just going to nod and smile and say:  Of course I'm listening, please go on.  After which I'll tune back out until you ask again. 

Q:  Did you even READ that?

A:  Yes, I read it.  But I didn't read it carefully because I wasn't paying very close attention to what we were talking about and I'm a very poor multi-tasker.  So right now while you're getting annoyed because I've changed my position on this discussion three times now and finally just repeated back to you what you said to start with and you clearly know I wasn't really reading or comprehending, I'm just going to say that I was just agreeing with you all along.  Yes we both know it's BS, but you'll let it go because you know that this is how I always am. 

Q:  Was that even English? 

A:  Well, now that I look back at it, no it really wasn't.  However, since we've already established that I can't multi-task for poo and that I rarely read things all the way through and stop to make sure I comprehend before I respond, are you really surprised?  Besides, I'm a product of the public school system, I live in (in Radar's case Florida and is therefore an inbred hillbilly) some state that can be ragged on for having backwoods people and I'm going to use that to my advantage now to make you laugh as I poke fun at whatever demographic is funniest in this case, oh and it isn't like some major network of fan sites pays me to write or anything, so get over it. 

Q:  What were you THINKING??? 

A:  Truthfully?  I really wasn't.  There were boobs. 

Q:  Why do you have to be such a f***ing MAN?!?!?! 

A:  Ummm... 

Q:  Well?  Aren't you going to say you're SORRY??? 

A:  Of course I'm going to say that I'm sorry.  Because it's obvious that this is the only way to get you to shut up about whatever it is you're yapping about this time.  I don't know what I did and I'm pretty sure that I didn't actually DO anything but for some reason you're annoyed with me and saying that I'm sorry is the only way out even if I don't mean it...  

I'll add to this when I find more.  Stay tuned for tomorrow and The Woman FAQ!