As if there was anyone out there who didn't already know this.

It's funny how time tends to make all things look better with this haze of selective memory.  I find myself looking fondly back on high school days when all I had to worry about was doing well in school and avoiding the various cliques that defined the school.  What's so funny about that?  Well, high school sucked.  I hated it.  I couldn't wait to get out.  I was miserable and frustrated with the banal crap all around me.  So what makes it all so attractive?

I had TIME.  I had time to do whatever I wanted.  I didn't work 16 hour days.  I didn't have to worry about paying the bills or anything.  It was all take care of for me.  I had it pretty good as a teenager.  Yeah the usual things sucked, but I was fairly pampered materially.  It's a sharp contrast to the way things are now.  And in all honesty I wouldn't trade it for anything, because I like my life.

But I do still miss the days when I didn't have to worry about work.  I could just kick back and play all the video games I wanted, or read all day.  I miss the days when I had time to write all day if I wanted to or the muse hit me.

Now I have to schedule everything into my day, all the way down to eating and when I forget to schedule in eating?  Trust me it doesn't happen.  Not that I can't afford to miss a few meals, lol.  But it's still kind of a pain in the arse to have myself so regimented.  I don't know when I stopped being a free spirited, fly by the seat of my pants girl, but somewhere I lost that.  Now I need to strictly monitor every second of my day.  I find myself wondering where I'm going to fit in the 30 mins a day I need to work out cause my ass is getting fat, or where I'm going to carve out an hour a day to write for real and not a blog (although that really needs some doing too, so there's another 15 mins a day) and not writing for Zam. 

It makes me want to run away and join the circus sometimes.  Then I remember that I'm terrified of clowns and so incredibly clumsy the only thing I'd be good for is mucking out animal cages... Then I decide that working isn't that bad after all.  * gag *  I've mucked animal stalls.  It's smelly and dirty.  And since I tend to get cranky if my hotel doesn't have room service... I'm thinking that smelly and dirty isn't something I'd be happy with on a daily basis.

What the hell does this have to do with anything even remotely important?

Not a whole lot really.  Just something that was poking around in my mind and I felt like jotting down.  It's also part of my resolution to really update this damned thing on a regular basis. 

I'm going to go try and figure out how to subsist on like four hours of sleep a night...  Maybe that'll help me squeeze everything in!